


Respect Women

by Cappuccino_Warrior



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Crack, Fanservice, don't take this seriously, just for fun, kinda OOC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2019-12-30 18:13:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18320618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cappuccino_Warrior/pseuds/Cappuccino_Warrior
Summary: Gundham teaches Kazuichi to respect women.





	1. Kazuichi Gets Taught

It was breakfast time at the Jabberwock Island restaurant. The Supreme Overlord of Ice picked at his food. Around him, his classmates were talking and laughing, but he was silent. Something was bothering him.

“Miss Sonia!” came a familiar voice. Again. Gundham could hear the stars in Kazuichi’s eyes as he said, “Wow! Not just a princess, but so intelligent too…” Sonia simply ignored him, visibly uncomfortable.

Gundham flared his nostrils. He was irritated, and one did not irritate the Dark Lord without consequence. He stood and strode over to where the mechanic sat. Gundham cleared his throat, placing his bandaged hand firmly on Kazuichi’s shoulder. “There is something urgent I need to discuss with you. Come along.”

The two of them walked across the restaurant and to the lobby, where they sat down at a couch. Chiaki stood a few feet away, playing a video game. She didn’t look up as they came in, so they ignored her. Well, Gundham ignored her. Kazuichi was too afraid to notice.

“Calm yourself, mortal. Heed my words,” said Gundham, speaking more gently than usual so as to not scare the shaking mechanic any further.

Kazuichi breathed in deeply. “W-what is it? What do you want to talk about?”

“It concerns the Dark Queen,” Gundham said.

“You mean Miss Sonia?” asked Kazuichi.

“Yes.” Gundham paused to gather his thoughts. “You must cease your pursuit of her. She is not interested.”

Kazuichi pulled his beanie down. “Hey, come on… d’ya have to remind me, man? That’s just mean…”

“Being ‘mean’ was not at all my intention. Your pursuit of the Dark Queen causes her much distress. It seems you are not aware of this. If you care for her as you claim to, then you wish her no distress, correct?”

“Yeah…”

“So you understand that you must stop. It is the decent thing to do. Even a being as evil as myself recognizes such basic respect!” Hoping he had made his point, he paused, then added: “Imagine how you would feel if someone you rejected continued pursuing you against your will!”

Kazuichi was silent for a moment, looking pensive. “Shit, man, I… you’re right.”

“I am always right,” said Gundham.

“Well then, you’re extra right!” Kazuichi stood up suddenly. There were tears in his eyes. “I’ve gotta say it! I’m a dick!”

“Weep not. Tears will not save this situation.”

“Oh yeah? Well what do you suggest?!” Kazuichi shouted. “Sorry,” he mumbled almost immediately.

“If I were a lowly mortal in such a situation, I would…” Gundham nearly spat the word, “apologize.”

“Good point. Guess I should’ve thought of that,” said Kazuichi. “Yeah! I’ll definitely apologize! Man, I can’t believe I ever did something so uncool!”

“It is no use to torture yourself about it. Amend your behavior and maybe she will forgive you.” Gundham stood up. One look at Kazuichi’s expression told him that his work was done. He returned to his quarters without further comment.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I know this is pretty bad and ooc but I really needed to write it for my own peace of mind. I like Kazuichi as a whole but... the Sonia thing... ew. He needs a lesson in respect, seriously.
> 
> (Read on for a special bonus chapter where Teruteru gets punched in his little bitch mouth.)


	2. Teruteru Gets Got

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shitpost

“Anyone want to slather me with oil?~”  
Gundham could not believe his ears. He spun around and punched Teruteru in the mouth.  
“OW!! What the heck?!”  
Upon realizing that Teruteru was somehow still talking, Gundham punched him again. “Next time, you won’t get off with such minor injuries,” muttered Gundham as he stalked away, leaving Teruteru curled up crying on the floor with a busted lip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forget Mikan. THIS is the kind of fanservice I always wanted to see.


End file.
